99 red balloons.

in eighth grade i had gold shoes. they were some of my favorite shoes too. and i remember one of the biggest days of my life, i was in art class...and i looked down at my shoes and then looked back up and saw a couple of guys in my class and looked back down. and i was tired of it.

and so i decided not to be in love.

for the first time in my life i let go of love. because as long as i could remember i had been in love with someone. starting in kindergarten at least. and i was so happy! it was literally the happiest day of my life.

and now it's valentine's day. a year ago i was setting free balloon wishes with my best friend. and honestly, i want to go back to that day in eighth grade when i set myself free. because they say that what you think about constantly, you become. and i really don't want to be that person anymore. she never had adventures. and i'm going to.

it's like that song - "i'm the hero of this story, don't need to be saved."

they also say that it takes 30 days to make a habit. and what better day to start a love-fast than on valentine's day? but just to be sure...i'm going to make it three times as potent. plus nine.

99 days without love.

and to be honest, i'm thinking this all up on the spot, as i type. so until May 23, 2013 i am "fasting". i'm living life to live it. not to be in love, and if i meet attractive men to be honest with them and myself. aaaaannnnndddd....oh! i got it. on May 23 if i am successful, i am going to release 99 red balloons.

here is to a life full of love for life itself, to discovering new things without being hindered by the judgments and opinions of others whom i would normally try to impress and only make a fool of myself in the process. here's to being happy and at peace with myself again.

i'm going to be the hero of my own story.