{ P E R H A P S }

perhaps the timing was all wrong, and we should have either grown up together or not met until...much later

perhaps it is ALL my fault, although in reality it isn't...but perhaps it were...?

perhaps i had known you shouldn't feed kittens milk

perhaps previous experiences taught me better, but by responding how i had wished of others did i tell myself a lie?

perhaps jane austen should always be watched on sunday evenings

perhaps life was meant to be a fairytale

perhaps fairytales are more pain than pleasure than they appear to be

perhaps i should never have held on so tightly to what was never mine

perhaps next time i will learn my lesson and just listen to what people tell me

perhaps...

i am a complete fool.

T o . T e l l . T h e . T r u t h .

for a time, although i still thought of him every single day...i forgot what it meant to love someone. but i think i'm getting better at that again. i may be coming to the realization that you don't marry every man you love...but you still love them with all of your heart.

six months later and i still love him.

{ T I G E R S } & { S H E E P } .

a tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. ~zag

i make a fool of myself every day these days it feels like. and i'm so tired of it. it's like no matter where i go i'm a magnet for other people's derision and criticism. and i earn and deserve it every time. i do these stupid things...stupid, stupid! things.

sometimes it turns out for the best. like when i asked one guy if he still liked me basically...and he doesn't. and i was happier for it. but all of these other things...

why is life so rough right now. oh i forgot, magnet here.

is it me doing stupid things or am i doing things right and people are the stupid ones and they are all somehow mass confused about the way reality is? or should be. how come people like me can't just be honest? if i could say what i mean and whatever is on my mind...i think i would be happier. at least happier than i already am. it's confusing.

because the more i express myself the meaner people get thus the more alone i feel, but by expressing myself  i am ultimately free and happy in that. and then also when i don't express myself i can fit in more easily with the stupid sheep of this world, but i am completely alone in my silence and constrained.

you can probably tell which happy road i will always choose.

stupid sheep.
llamas are my favorite animal anyway.

r e a l l i f e .

today i got seriously upset by the fact that the heroine in the romantic comedy that i was watching didn't get together with the guy i wanted. of course it wasn't the "happily ever after" that i wanted. i wanted reality for once!

because let's face it. life is no fairy tale.

in fairy tales when the heroine gives the perfect boy the chance of a lifetime, he grabs it and they live happily ever after. he doesn't say no thanks that's boat was shipped off, and then funny enough the girl realizes that that's what she wanted and needed anyway and she feels better for it now, even if she did make a fool of herself. she realizes that that was exactly what she needed to kick the silly crush.

i get a little too into these romantic comedies. i know. i even yelled at the tv today. don't worry, i paused it first so i wouldn't miss anything.

real characters deserve real endings.

and fake ones deserve fairy tales.

so which one do i want? honestly i'm still trying to decide.

but in reference to the movie i watched today...i'm leaning toward reality. every girl needs to fall in love with the guy who is honest with her, who tells her when she's being pathetic and when she needs to stand up for herself instead of being an idiot. the guy who knows you're in love with another man but who loves you anyway...and with all of your flaws.

why can't the heroine fall for the best friend for once?

things i dont say concerning { H I M } .

i never define who he is.

and i'll never tell him how much i wanted to walk up and kiss him that one time

then i'd never tell them that i know what was on that yellow paper, making fun of me

why can't i stop smiling when i hear you talk to older people?

or when you talked crap about that girl you used to date?

but i'll still never get past this wall

because you are the wall that's keeping me away

just like you keep drawing me in.

and i can't escape.

you don't even know, you don't even care

how much it makes me glow inside when you say that something i do is cute

and i wonder how you don't know


just when i think i'm free? i fall for you all over again.

and i wish that you had been the one i had let kiss me, not him.

B E T W E E N t h e L I N E S.

i'm in love with him

but i'm attracted to him.

and i'll never be happy with either.

because of the other.

and it's probably always going

to be something along those lines.

between the lines.

. : : D E C O M P R E S S : : .

oh did you just roll your eyes at me? my heart is torn! { n o t . }

did she really just sing an entire song about singing and dancing and stay completely still? skillful...

i'm so sorry you bruised your kankle...i mean ankle.

don't milk that too much pal...only babies drink more than you do

you're an idiot, but when you think that you're actually the good guy...you're twice the idiot.

girls who chase so hard after lame guys deserve what they get. a broken heart and beach ball growin outa ther hips.

i may want to be a mom someday, but today isn't that day and looking at prego women still makes me nauseous.

you're a hypocrite in an interesting way. you bash on those you most resemble. {s w a g ! }

the stupid is strong with this one.

you're so full of crap the toilet is jealous. time to flush friend....time to flush.

oh you're not gay? you had me fooled.


t h e  e n d .
thank you. thank you.
{ b o w . }