"what are you thinking?"

"your beliefs become your thoughts,

your thoughts become your words,

your words become your actions,

your actions become your habits,

your habits become your values,

your values become your destiny."

~Mahatma Gandhi

all these words in my mind, all these fears, all of these hopes and dreams and desires keep crashing around in there like the lost seas, depth unknown and whether calm or raging full of an uncertainty that nothing can cure.

as human beings we are always discovering ourselves. we never stop changing. every experience affects us, just like every wash of the waves changes the sands of the world, polishes the edges of every seashell over time.

and then something changes you, more than anything else. and you're never that same person you were, and never will be ever again. you've lost who you used to be, with no chance of being her ever again. and that is why we always find ourselves discovering not the same person, but a new one, over and over and over again and it's never-ending.

through it all...you have these words in your mind, a constant screaming that needs to be heard. but you can't let it out. your anger, your fear, your hurts. if you let them out someone uses them, because everything you say, can and will be held against you. no exceptions.

so many people live their lives not giving a darn what people use those words for. but me? i'm afraid of that power. words. they are so strong.

but who i am now, she's more lost when she can't be heard. she doesn't want to be asked and most of the time she wants to simply be silent. because the world isn't really ever silent. if you listen long enough even at the most quiet moments, the rest of the world rushes in to makes its own voice heard.

so here it is my turn. my turn to "just say something". no matter what it is.

and maybe i will discover my destiny along the way as well as myself.