i would never do drugs....

but sometimes i get this high just from being around you.
you don't know me as well as i wish you could
i've noticed you though, and i know the way you walk.
your feet turned out and shoulders hunched just slightly
and i remember how you gave up your seat for me
although i'm sure that was more just common courtesy.
you said that i was beautiful, not just cute or pretty.
there's no way you could know how big of a deal that is.

and you were unafraid.

at least at first. but you made the first real move.
and i got a rush. i had never felt loved like that before
you were strong and full of courage.
i prayed that you were not drunk
and even though i didn't, i wish i had let you kiss me.
i hope that is something i don't spend the rest of my life
regretting.

and now all i hear is silence. i've fallen off your radar.
i wish you would be brave again, would hold me again.


nothing is ever how we want it to be.