looking down into a deep chasm, down...down...down...
and i wonder to myself why i cannot see that depth anywhere else now. were you the only one who held the same darkness inside of themselves as i do? is that why we worked so well together, because we both had hearts as scarred as a veteran's face?
no. it's not. because you weren't scarred at all. somehow you missed all of that. the dirt and grime of this world passed right over you. but me? i soaked it in like a sponge, not caring whether the water i soaked up was clear and pure or full of mud and bacteria.
i just don't understand it. any of it. why someone so perfect could love me...or even just pretend to love me. because i just don't know anymore. i watch that video and hear you say it and i feel like i should laugh. neither of us knew what we were even doing! we thought we'd felt temptation? we thought we had sinned? and all we did was hold hands.
sorry but i gotta kinda laugh at that.
maybe i am just as alone as i have always thought. and i find it hard to believe that i may actually find someone out there who is "perfect" for me. because as far as i am aware...i don't want it to be a decision. is that really the only way?
and i wonder to myself why i cannot see that depth anywhere else now. were you the only one who held the same darkness inside of themselves as i do? is that why we worked so well together, because we both had hearts as scarred as a veteran's face?
no. it's not. because you weren't scarred at all. somehow you missed all of that. the dirt and grime of this world passed right over you. but me? i soaked it in like a sponge, not caring whether the water i soaked up was clear and pure or full of mud and bacteria.
i just don't understand it. any of it. why someone so perfect could love me...or even just pretend to love me. because i just don't know anymore. i watch that video and hear you say it and i feel like i should laugh. neither of us knew what we were even doing! we thought we'd felt temptation? we thought we had sinned? and all we did was hold hands.
sorry but i gotta kinda laugh at that.
maybe i am just as alone as i have always thought. and i find it hard to believe that i may actually find someone out there who is "perfect" for me. because as far as i am aware...i don't want it to be a decision. is that really the only way?
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