"what are you thinking?"

i get on facebook and the status asks me what is on your mind?

and i think about how i can never say what i am really thinking. because it hurts

i am thinking about how i never drive to our spot anymore, except today.
i am thinking about how i let him kiss me, and i shouldn't have.
i am thinking about how you were the first reason i fell in love with the guitar, and no one else knows.
i am thinking about how i was not lying when i told him my heart is made of stone. and that is why my hands are so cold.
i am thinking about valentine's day, how most of my wishes of you finding someone better are finally coming true.
i am thinking about how you taught me to forgive, and the glass splinter in my foot
i am thinking about how it all fell apart, but i still love you. and i don't know why.
i am thinking about handwritten notes given in secret. i never liked your handwriting.
i am thinking about my first kiss, and how i wish life were that simple now.
i am thinking about how it's taken me three months to write you a letter, and i didn't even say anything.
i am thinking about how i'm more afraid that i will hurt anyone than i am ever afraid of being hurt myself.

if you are smart and you're reading this then you will have to realize that i am thinking about four different people. i am not responsible for your conclusions.